WEEK 30 9-15th October 2011

Sunday 9^th October 11

Take dogs for walk round village. Enjoyment slightly marred by having to remove succession of dead frogs from Angus’s mouth. First frog is pancake flat and dried out like piece of beef jerky. Second frog is bloated like frog balloon. Manage to extract it from his jaws before one of his sharp puppy teeth pierces skin thereby preventing explosion of decaying frog slime. Phew!

Monday 10^th October 11

Alarm fails to go off and finally wake up at 7.15am. Amy very grumpy  and declares ‘ I have to shower!’ Tom able and willing to get ready for school in 20 minutes but don’t have energy to persuade Amy that she could do the same if she tried. Drive children to school.

Tuesday 11^th October 11

Tom gets up and dresses without washing. Understand now how he can get ready for school in 20 minutes. Insist he undresses and has a shower which makes him very bad tempered. Is it too much to hope for some kind of balance in children’s washing habits? Currently have;

1. One obsessively hygienic child who becomes neurotic at prospect of not being able to wash hair daily and takes dry shampoo on Duke of Edinburgh Award expeditions
2. One child not inclined to wash as all.

Angus and I walk to the bus stop with the children. Angus smiles doggily and wags his tail all the way there. The children and I agree that if we could read his thoughts they would say ‘Happy, happy, happy I’m so happy’. What a little ray of sunshine he is. Fondness for Angus dims slightly when he does a sloppy impromptu poo on the pavement opposite the bus stop.

Wednesday 12^th October 11

Have long chat with Emily on the phone who tells me that Tom talked nicely to her Mum for several minutes at the bus stop yesterday. Pass on positive feedback to Tom as trying to be good parent dishing out praise and bollockings in equal measure. Tom says ‘ Well, I am a very good child, you should be very pleased.’

Thursday 13^th October 11

Parents staying. Take them to Shaftesbury and again have large cakes in café on Gold Hill followed by visit to Antique shop. My life is turning into Groundhog Day. Tell lady in shop that am looking for smallish button backed chair. She says she has one. Hoorah! Wish the children were with me to help me carry it round town. Ha! Sadly, chair is at her house but she promises to email me a photo.  In café Dad reveals that he doesn’t like the new boyfriend of a friend but can’t put his finger on exactly why, but then says ‘ I don’t like his teeth’ and bares his own teeth to make the point or perhaps just to make sure I know what teeth are? Ask what on earth could be so offensive about someone’s teeth but both parents become vague.

After large cakes, Mum announces ‘ “The time has come”  the Walrus said’, which makes me laugh a lot and which apparently is ‘mother speak’ for ‘I have decided to lose weight by eating sensibly in future’ . Like I haven’t heard this before. Wonder if parents have been smoking weed in the spare room.

Saturday 15^th October 11

In morning help out at BWS Christmas Fair, on cake stall. Yum. Tom plays rugby against Millfield. Fear massacre but actually although defeated, scores much more even (32 – 21) than in previous match against Sherbourne (55 – 5). Tom pleased despite stamped on thigh covered in bruises and stud marks. At bed time he asks if he can have a new gum shield as old one has bits coming off it. Tell him he is supposed to wear it not eat it. Worried about brutishness of rugby and that he will end up with flattened and bent nose like Mike Tindall or even worse with cauliflower ears.  Mustn’t be neurotic mother but would prefer it if he stuck to non contact sports like tennis and tiddlywinks.